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Single
So I’m single. Hooray! No more shaving my legs! At first I was really depressed. Then I realized something. I’m kinda hot, right? Right? C’mon guys, I am really insecure. That’s why I dress like this....
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Press Club 7: The Bye Bye Toronto Issue
Ain’t no party like a Press Club party! Hey Ho Hey Ho. It is the second last issue of Press Club 7! Bust me outta Toronto and into the hearts and pants of people everywhere while laughing your butt off...
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Hate Mail
Someone has really gone out of their way to make me think I am a talentless, ugly, insignificant person.The following are comments that someone with the emotional maturity of an IPOD wrote on my...
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Final Issue
Ain’t No Party Like a Press Club Party! The final shows are so rockin’ that y’all WILL come a knockin’. Hosted by VERONIKA SWARTZ of course. The Final Issue Part 1, Monday April 18th 9pm DAWN WHITWELL,...
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Bitch Salad
After what feels like months (it feels like it, because it HAS been months), BITCH SALAD IS BACK!!! With one of the most hotly anticipated editions of the year, featuring an all-new lineup of bitches...
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Diary
Here’s a little ditty from Eye Weekly based on THIS POST Expect another contribution from me soon. This article was written under anonymous to protect the other party. He somehow found out about it...
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OKDating
I started a dating profile because I can’t afford dinner. The following was taken from my dating profile which I am happily taking down. I say happily because it was a joke. I know a lot of people...
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Comedy at 51
Late night comedy cabaret! Toronto’s newest room, all things comedy! Stand-up, Sketch, Improv, Music, theme nights… we have it all! This Sunday featuring the return of the Williamson Playboys, Ned...
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Diary2
The following is my second contribution to The Grid’s Dating Diaries. I wanted to write about my first date with my ex-boyfriend. You will never read anything else about him. Too many people in my life...
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XXXtraveganza
4 Years Running!!! Get lucky with us!Instead of spending St. Patty’s drinking with Amateurs, spend it drinking with Professionals… and Comedians. One of the year’s top comedy events. ONLY $15 Hosted...
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Press Club 7 Reunion Show
It’s Press Club 7 time! Do you like to laugh? I said, DO YOU LIKE TO LAUGH? Good. Why would you go to a comedy show otherwise? I’m going to have a stellar line up of major talent that will warm your...
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New Stand Up
Comic Idol, Friday April 11th 2014. A lot of people have tried to get video of me over the last few years and failed miserably. I finally have a video now! See? I DO exist. I hope you enjoy it as much...
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WOO HOO
Are you tired of this lousy Smarch weather? Do you think Smarch is a perfectly cromulent word? Well then this night is for you! Welcome to the first edition of WOO HOO CLASSIC SIMPSONS TRIVIA THUNDER...
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WOO HOO Trivia Thunder Bay Standings
Thunder Bay Location: The Sovereign Room Episodes: Marge Vs. The Monorail, A Milhouse Divided Categories: Lionel Hutz, Canada Winner: Dignity Final Standings 1. Dignity 40 pts 2. Globex Corp 38 pts...
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I’m a Celeboobie!
Welcome to my first ever blog. Say hello viewer. Hello. Building my site has me wondering. Who is Veronika Swartz?, What am I all aboot? Eh? Eh? Most likely, you are wondering that also. Well gentle...
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Warp Speed Dating
Does your underwear read “Must have over 120 IQ to enter”? Are your topics of conversation met with glares and ignorance? Do you think embiggen is a perfectly cromulent word? Well then this night is...
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Tease Lightning!
There’s a party in our pants and everyone’s invited! Join Veronika Swartz and burlesque legends Tanya Cheex and Sauci Colla Horra of Skin Tight Outta Sight for an evening of burlesque and comedy. It...
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May The Swartz V
Coming soon, along with you, is May The Swartz V With You, A web series/podcast dedicated to nerdy and geeky news with interviews and panels with my hilarious friends. It’s The Nerdist meets The...
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Press Club 7; Live Taping
It’s Press Club 7 time! Do you like to laugh? I said, DO YOU LIKE TO LAUGH? Good. Why would you go to a comedy show otherwise? I’m going to have a stellar line up of major talent that will warm your...
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